How ‘Calm Down Time’ Works With Your Kids?

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Image by Susanstiffleman

This applies to every parent out there. Unless you have an angel child (which do actually exist – but very rare!) than you have been faced with a time when you just don’t know how to stop your child from misbehaving. Whatever form that comes in, we all struggle with how we will handle the situation and often times react poorly to our children. If you’re reading this article that you have likely been looking into ways which you can change or improve your parenting techniques for something more gentle and loving. Often times we get so caught up in a particular behaviour that we often miss the hidden message from our child.

Children need love, attention, kindness, compassion, TIME, and affection. If you have children and believe that you can cut these things out or cut them down you will be dealing with a child who acts out and misbehaves. The reason kids do this is not to necessarily upset you, but rather it’s the only way they know how to express themselves in a way that their parents will take note, and pay attention. Even if that attention is negative. These times should be seen as opportunities when we can truly find out what is bugging a child and why they felt they needed to act out. Ask them, give them time to work out their feelings, and let them calm down without screaming, yelling, pointing, or accusing. These are pivital moments that teach a child some of the most valuable lessons in life.

Calm Down Time – 4 Steps

This is a positive, not punitive opportunity. It creates a chance to stop, take a break, and re-gain self-control. Calm downs are used to help a child deal with intense emotions. It helps to teach them what to do instead of misbehaving. Makes taking a break a good thing. And feels better for both parents, and kids. You can call a calm-down when a child is being disruptive or being defiant.

Step 1

Keep the conversation short and sweet. Tell them it’s time for a calm down. Do not be threatening or disrespectful. Advise them that you’re not going to talk about this until your both calm.

Step 2

Let your child choose where they are going to calm down. The key is removing the attention from the misbehavior and addressing the child’s needs. “Would you like to go to a quiet room or stay here?” “Would you like a hug first?” Sometimes children just don’t know why they are acting a certain way. They need our acceptance and unconditional love to help them forget what is upsetting them and to focus on something that makes them happy.

  • Have plans for a calm down such as these:
  • Taking deep breaths
  • Reading a book
  • Take a walk
  • Have a hug
  • Snuggle a bear
  • Lay on bed

Step 3

Teach the lesson later. No one listens when they are upset. Talk about the behaviour later that night and find a better behaviour you would like the child to engage in instead. Soon your child will be well on their way to self-control and regulation in a healthy way.

Step 4

Never leave a problem unresolved until the next day. Make the time to work things out with your kids before bed time. A good opportunity might be around bath time or during bath time when you can do it while enjoying something fun. Leaving issues unresolved will just bring up bad feelings the next day and possibly cause some bad feedback.

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